Wednesday, 25 May 2011

Sharing my Story

I wrote the blog with every intention of sharing it and with the hope of helping others.  When it came to the crunch, the thought of sharing my inner most thoughts and feelings terrified me.  I deliberated for weeks about sharing it, should I, shouldn't I?  I shared it with a few close friends and the response was really positive but I was still unsure.  Then my friend sent me this message and the minute I read it, I decided I had to share it..... 5 minutes later, I shared the blog on Facebook.....

"Nicola I have just read the entire blog and it has to be one of the most moving accounts of motherhood I have read. This is the kind thing that will help so many people who are unfortunate to have to face every parents nightmare ..However the entire thread oozes positivity and even hope . People are often pressured at times like this to make decisions they would not normally have made termination ..your decision to give Benjamin an identity by bringing him into the world and allowing him to feel your love has to be the most beautiful acts of love you could hope to perform on this earth ..Well done nicola for posting this ..Do not be nervous ..think of the people like yourselves who will grasp at the at the information you have posted and hopefully will derive comfort from it x"

Since taking the plunge and sharing my story 2 months ago, I've had an amazing 7304 hits!  The response has been overwhelming.  I've received emails of support from complete strangers from all over the world, all of which have affirmed that sharing Benjamin's story was absolutely the right thing to do.  I have received some emails with very sad stories and others of hope.  One woman shared her experience with me:

"What a touching story. Reading it broke my heart and brought back a lot of memories for me. When I went for my 10 week dating scan with my first child we were given the news that they thought that our baby had a major heart defect, a major bowel defect and downs syndrome and I was advised to terminate the pregnancy by the doctors right up to 22 weeks when I then knew that I was carrying a son and could feel him moving and growing inside me. I knew that in my heart, I just couldn't do it so I continued with the pregnancy and knew that no matter what, I would love my baby. He arrived exactly right on his due date and was perfect. No downs syndrome, no bowel or heart problems. Every birthday I sit and look at him and have a little cry that he might never had been born had I listened to the doctors. I am so glad that I followed my instincts. No one knows what they will do when faced with such a huge decision to make - you are a very strong woman x"

Many people have emailed me to simply say that reading Benjamin's story has made them appreciate their own children more.  To me, that in itself makes the blog a success.  I'd like to thank everyone for their support, for those that have messaged me and those that have shared the blog with their friends.  Every single message means something to me.  I've tried to reply to everyone but fear that the odd one or two may have slipped through and for that, I apologize.

And of course, for those of you who have taken the time to read it and share in Benjamin's short life...... thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Nicola xxx